


One For You Too

by camichats



Category: Marvel
Genre: Avengers Family, Gen, Minor James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-14
Updated: 2019-01-14
Packaged: 2019-10-09 22:17:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17413562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/camichats/pseuds/camichats
Summary: Tony gives the okay for someone to make prototypes of Avengers themed sex toys, but he forgot to warn the team. They're more than a little surprised when they're opening the mail and seethat.





	One For You Too

**Author's Note:**

> This is filling up my free square in kink bingo :D
> 
> There's a couple mentions of bad Winter Soldier times and Tony's sexually dubious past, but it's nothing explicit

The thing was, all of the Avengers knew that Tony was shameless when it came to sex-- even if he was a little more reserved these days because of his relationship with Rhodey. Whether he was that way because he was Tony, or if it was a byproduct of the leaked sex tapes, drugged out orgies, having sex so young in such a public way, or a combination of all three, it meant that when someone approached him about the idea of licensed sex toys in the style of all the Avengers, he gave them the go-ahead without much thought. So little thought, in fact, that he forgot to mention it to any of the Avengers until the prototypes were done and had been sent over.

Like advertised on the site itself, the products were sent in the classic plain brown box that didn't give even a hint about what its contents were. It was reasonable then, that when they saw a package marked for the Avengers in their mail, they opened it up without hesitating.

After they could see what was inside though, they hesitated a lot. Tony, of course, was late to breakfast that day and walked in only to have everyone turn to stare at him, some of them a little more hostile than others. "Did I do something to deserve this or did you all decide to hate me today?" He glanced around, noticing that Bruce seemed more embarrassed than anything else, so it surely wasn't as bad as Bucky's glare was making this out to be.

Bucky grabbed the card that had been sent along and read out, "'Mister Stark, thank you for considering the Avengers Toy Set. Please let us know if you have any suggestions or improvements to make the buyer of the product feel more like they are truly with an Avenger. This set is of course for your personal use and you can contact us whenever you have the time.'" Bucky flicked the card at him, obviously not aiming for anything painful since it hit his arm.

"Tony," Steve said, rubbing at his temple, "I thought we agreed that you weren't allowed to make decisions about the entire team without asking first."

"And I didn't." He poured himself a cup of coffee, frowning when it only filled up half of his cup. He set about making another pot as he talked. "They asked if they could try, I said sure. These aren't on the market yet, they just want to see if we'll agree to them. Besides, don't you want to know what they decided for you?"

"No," Bucky said vehemently, but Tony rolled his eyes at him.

"Relax Bucky-bear, you don't have to use any of them if you don't want to."

"Really?" Tony wanted to tease him for being so disbelieving, but all things considered with his past, that would be insensitive, and not the kind that Tony could just brush aside.

"Course not. This is more to simulate what the public thinks you'd be like in bed and marketing that. Personally I hope they made mine some sort of vibrator. Is it?"

"We haven't looked yet," Natasha said, peering inside the box. When no one beside Clint made a move to look, she pulled it towards them.

"First up is a vibrating wand!" Clint said like he was an announcer. "Given the coloring, we can assume it is for our good ol' Captain. Congratulations, Steve."

Natasha set it on the table, where everyone could see it. Tony thought it was a little unimaginative to have red and white stripes leading up to the fat end which had the blue background with white stars, but he also didn't have a better idea (yet). She raised an eyebrow, then lifted out a set of handcuffs that had a silver chain connecting them to a second set, obviously to go around ankles. The cuffs were leather which was normal enough, but they were adorned with bright red stars, which made them Bucky's.

"No," Bucky said immediately, shaking his head.

"Aw c'mon Barnes," Clint said, jangling them a little as if that would help.

"I hate to say it," Natasha said, "but what did you expect when your outfit has that much leather? At least they didn't do an entire fetish outfit."

"They have those, they just aren't officially the Winter Soldier," Tony chimed in. Bucky glared at him, and Tony just shrugged. "It's true."

Natasha sighed at the next item she pulled out. "I guess these are mine. We match." Bucky did not look heartened in the slightest, but that would have been a strange reaction to have to nipple clamps, not matter how much it would make sense in the moment. Clint leaned over and whispered something in Natasha's ear that made her laugh. "We'll see what you say about yours when it comes up."

It was Tony's next, obvious by the red and gold color. It was just a rabbit vibrator, but he appreciated that it was one of the thrusting ones. After that was a giant purple dildo, and Tony had to press his lips together to keep from laughing.

Clint's face brightened. "They think I'm hung! I approve of this," he said to Tony.

"I don't think that's yours Robin Hood."

"What do you mean? It's purple, that's my color."

Out of the corner of his eye, Tony saw Bruce cover his face as he realized that it was actually the Hulk's toy. "Well, let's think about this. Out of everyone on the team, he do you think the public would assume has a giant cock?"

"...Steve?" he guessed.

Natasha covered her mouth for a second, before composing herself. "Dear? I think it's Hulk."

Clint turned to look at Bruce, who hadn't moved. "The Hulk? Wouldn't his dick be green?"

"His nipples are purple." Now everyone turned to look at Tony. "What?" he said defensively, holding his coffee cup like it was a shield. "That's how it works." They all continued to stare at him for a minute, except Bruce, who looked like he would rather be anywhere else but here with them.

"So if this is the Hulk," Natasha said, setting the ridiculously massive-- her fingers couldn't even get all the way around it-- dildo to the side, "then this one must be you." Natasha pulled out the anal beads with a wide grin, which was not something Tony ever thought would be something he'd see. "See? Still purple."

"This is more my shade of purple," Clint allowed, taking the toy from Natasha and examining it.

There was a moment of quiet as they all looked at the display of sex toys on their kitchen table-- yes, even Bruce, although he was peeking through his fingers rather than staring outright like the rest of them. "I'll tell them to go ahead with mine," Tony said, pouring himself another cup of coffee now that it was done. "Anyone not want theirs?"

Bucky raised his hand, but the rest of the team didn't move.

Tony nodded. "Alright, I'll tell them it's a no-go for the Winter Soldier. They'll probably re-brand these to be Black Widow, just fyi."

"Fine with me," Natasha said with a shrug.

Tony made a mental note to get back to the company, along with asking if they could come up with another couple ideas for Steve's because really, that was just pathetic. "Any other suggestions? Complaints? Questions?"

Bucky glared at him again, but Tony knew that he didn't mean anything by it.

He made to walk out of the room, but Natasha talking stopped him. "Hey Tony?"

"Hm?"

"They made one for War Machine," she said, smirking and holding the box out to him.

Tony walked over and glanced inside the box, then grinned. He took the box from her and left before anyone could stop him again. He got out his phone and texted Rhodey. _You'll never guess what I have_.

He didn't get an answer because Rhodey was either asleep or working, but then, he hadn't expected one. He took a picture and sent it, along with a peach emoji. Tony was getting a little aroused just thinking about it, but he didn't actually plan on using it for a while. He went down the 'shop and set it somewhere out of DUM-E's way, and generally forgot about it for a while until Rhodey texted him back. He was so caught up in his work that it was a shock when the text he got back was absolutely filthy.

He got to his feet, retrieved the box and started for the elevator, calling out to Jarvis to save everything.

**Author's Note:**

> Shoutout to the WI discord for talking about the Hulk having a purple dick and people thinking the purple toy was for Clint. Because apparently this is what I talk about in my spare time now.


End file.
